Boosaurus Blog Contest – The Winning Entries

As I’ve said before, it was really hard for me to pick out the winning entries for my blog contest (“Describe your Dream Bra”). In choosing prizewinners, I tried to focus on the ones that I felt really stood out in particular in terms of showing personality/creativity, originality, clarity, and relating the prompt to themselves personally.

But, you don’t want to keep reading what I have to say! So, here are the seven winning entries (in no particular order) – I’ll be posting more of your amazing entries throughout the next couple of weeks!

Gabrielle H – “My Dear Brassiere”

“One day as I was shopping through Macy’s, Belk, and Kohls,
I saw a pretty article as dainty as a foal.
It hung upon a little hanger, the pattern bright and shiny
But me oh my, the cups of it were built for someone tiny!

I’m not that tiny little woman, breasts so small and pert…
My girls, so darn voluptuous, could strain the best dress shirt.
While hers might need a little lift, perhaps a good soft lining,
My bigguns need a crane to lift, of an engineer’s designing.

So engineer, I beg of you, do what with them you can
Despite the fact you’re male, and thus, not likely to understand
And don’t suggest the “hand bra.” Thanks for making me feel sleazy.
Anyway, so here it is, I’ll try to make it easy.

My perfect bra: a molded cup, for all those nipply days.
A little lift, but not so much that They meet every gaze.
The wires mustn’t press against my ribcage, leaving red marks
My old bras were all like that…the lines were full-blown arcs.

I’m not built large, except for Them, and They are not wide set,
So put them front and center, like the flags on a Corvette.
A rounded shape, since I’m still young, and never liked Madonna
Let’s stay away from Katy too, those cupcakes aren’t Nirvana.

I’ve never had a pretty bra, let’s think along those lines.
A little lace? Some satin, yeah? For sure, a fun design.
It must be smooth, for daily wear, but still a little sexy…
I’d like to leave my boyfriend in a state of apoplexy.

Let’s redesign to my ideals a bra that fits correctly
And mail it to each company’s designer of bras directly.
Perhaps one day, I’ll find a bra I’ll vow to love forever…
Unfortunately, the likelihood of in my price range? Never.”

Miranda – My Ideal Bra

Lyndi M. – My Dream Bra

My “dream bra” is something I’ve put plenty of thought into over the years.  It seems that my criteria are mutually exclusive because I can never find anything even close.  So here are my requirements:

1.  Perfect fit.  Of course!  Different manufacturers have vastly different interpretations of what 36C or 32G mean.
2.  Smooth, comfortable fabric.  Doesn’t really matter if it’s cotton, silk, satin, or anything else, as long as it doesn’t irritate my sensitive skin.  I find most lace bras very itchy.
3.  Deep V front so it doesn’t peek out of low cut tops.  What’s the good of having a huge rack if I’m not going to show the girls off a little.
4.  Keeps the girls in their places, even when I pick something up off the floor, walk quickly, or wave to someone down the street.
5.  Moderate lining… Not padding.  I spend most of my day feeling a little “chilly”… and showing it, if not properly lined.
6.  SEXY.  I don’t want a bra that looks like something out of the 1956 Sears Catalog.
7.  Moderately priced.  I don’t mind paying a little more for a great bra.  But since you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince, I’m not going to pay $75 for a bra that might just be a frog.
8.  Washable.  I do NOT have time to hand wash my unmentionables in a special “delicates” detergent.  It has to be able to stand up to the delicate cycle with the regular dye-free detergent.  I always air dry my bras, but definitely no time for hand washing.
9.  (Now for the more improbable dream attributes):  A bra that never stretches out of shape.  Ever.
10.  A bra that capable of migrating all the superfluous fat from my backside to my boobs.
11.  A bra that facilitates effortless 100% perfect posture.  The sheer weight of my boobs (which were well into the latter half of the alphabet at their biggest, when I was nursing) has made me quite slouchy over the years.
12.  A bra that a girl with a 32G rack can run in without bounce and without being completely smushed.
13.  And last, but not least, a bra that can be easily removed when I want it to be and like Fort Knox when I don’t!

While my dream bra will likely remain a dream, it was fun put it all out there, metaphorically of course.  Big boobs rock!!

Erin A – Ivy Green Dreams

A bra made of air, that floats, supports and lifts
enchants my thoughts
Something to show the soft and secret curves of delicate cleavage
between my breasts
Beautiful, romantic, sexy, anything
My dream bra is made of air, but since air is naught but dreams
a more practical solution must be found.
So in class, and at work, and in the hazy time between waking and sleep
I find myself dreaming…
…dreaming of a size 27GG, wide strap, seamed, removable push up pads, emerald green, leaf embroidered, silicone padded underwired, cups set above the band, longline bra!!
27 for the size of my ribcage,
Seamed for the cleavage it gives my bottom heavy breasts,
Removable pads to fill out my right breast so it matches the left.
Emerald green to show off my pale skin and red hair and because there aren’t nearly enough green bras in the world.
Silicone padded underwires to cushion my bony ribcage,
with the cups set slightly above the band to fully support my high set breasts on my long torso.
All wrapped up in a longline bra for the extra support and retro look it gives. If two hooks are good, eight are better!
And super powers, you ask? Only the power of comfort, confidence and the sly secret of knowing my breasts are mine and mine alone, in this perfect bra granted to me.

Allison B. – Perfect Bra

Natasha W. – Dream Bra

My dream bra…

It’d be vintage, peach or bronze colored, and give my breasts incredible lift. I imagine that it’d be the type of bra that could peek through a sheer shirt and add intense sex appeal. I’d want detailing on it, lace or silk perhaps, something European and otherworldly. Or else it’d be navy and pinstriped with fierce businesswoman power. But behind its beauty, the bra would be comfortable, not itchy or ill-fitting, something I could wear all day without throwing off all night in relief. It’s hard enough finding bras for my size, but sexy bras that are comfortable? They’re like the holy grail. No cute patterns like hearts or balloons, something that screams “I was hand-crafted!”, something that says “I belong on a woman in a movie making love to the main character in a French hotel with the curtains open!”

Is it just a fantasy? Can you make my dreams come true?

Cass L. – My Dream Bra

My dream bra would reflect my personality. It would have to be flirty
and tough, but provide a sexy feminine shape. Admittedly, I’m drawn to
bras that give me the nice, round, fictitiously uplifted breasts.  But
with support, and minimal bounce.  I’m an active lady and need a bra
that will keep up with my adventures.

Convertible straps would allow comfort in different outfits.  A nice
tight fitting band that doesn’t create “rolls of back fat.”  Molded
cups would keep the nipples a mystery.  Underwire, of course, because
at 32E, you can’t live without it.  The color would have to be black.
A touch of lace would keep it flirty.

As much I like the delicate, fancy, ever-so-pretty bras, I really
need something more robust, yet not sporty looking.  This dream bra
would have to survive a bit of sweat and scampering around, yet still
be classy enough to wear under a pretty dress.

I’d love to meet this dream bra, if it exists. But if it remains just
a dream, I will fondly imagine its perfection in hopes that maybe
someday, something will favorable compare.